"Then graduation...Then, then what?”She began thinking back over the last five years of college. She smiled remembering the innocent girl she had been then. Almost totally unaware, her hands began caressing her nipples and running down her hard flat abdomen. Drowsing, she let her mind cast backwards remembering her first sexual awakenings.Rae had matured very young. By the time that she entered high school, she was bigger than all of the girls and most of the boys. She was of first generation Polynesian origin, Thick blue-black hair down to her waist. By the time she was a junior she was 6' 2" tall, and weighed about 150, not an ounce of which was fat. She had a 30 inch waist, and 40 D breasts, topped with a face that one man remarked "some day someone will kill for that" She had a natural grace and agility and had played basketball on the "first team" since her sophomore year. She had lead her school team to the state championship for her final two high school years. This had won. Wanda stayed.I lost weight because I didn't eat. Wanda fed me as if I were a baby. I became dehydrated because I'd forget to drink anything. Wanda had to tip a glass of water to my lips to get me to drink. I napped sporadically during the day, but couldn't sleep at night. Nightmares of the plane crash brought me upright and screaming in my bed. Nicole and Sandy's bodies weren't recovered, only pieces, and in my nightmare, fiery chunks of bloody flesh, pieces of Nicole and Sandy's flesh, fell down on me, splattered me as if thrown by an angry God.I was inconsolable.I hadn't said goodbye. I hadn't told them that I loved them.I didn't paint. I did nothing. Silent tears rolled from my eyes until my tear ducts dried up. Days later, the tears would start again.It was the silence that got to me. No one said, "Josh, are you there?"If I'd connected with Wanda, she could have said the words, but I refused to make the connection, and I tamped down all other thoughts, emotions and sensations.
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